凌晨4点, 望着窗外街上孤零零的几个行人, 我又一次感到眼泪就要涌出。回头看到地上尚未打开的行李，想起妈妈精心打包进去的大红枣、普洱茶、和豆浆粉，心中不禁百感交集。人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺。昨天一家人还在一起涮火锅，今天就距离如此的遥远！
芝加哥，海德公园，我们又见面了。
(二）
航班起飞了，盘旋在北京的上空。望着窗外暮色中的京城，我的眼泪淋湿了安全带。这是我出生并且成长到十岁的城市，它曲折的胡同里有我最幸福、最珍贵的回忆。可是这次走，真不知何时归来。
（三）
每次回家见到姥姥、姥爷，就发觉他们又苍老了许多。这次走之前，姥爷意味深长的叮嘱我要学会寻找生活中的幸福，并递过一幅他亲笔书写的我最喜爱的《孟子》采摘。姨妈悄悄的告诉我，“这幅书法来之不易。姥爷的左眼失明后已经很少写字了。” 接过那幅精致裱好的字，我心中一阵心酸，只愿能够留在家里尽一个孙女的职责。
（四）
因时差而失眠的我，坐在床上翻阅苏轼的诗词。
大江东去，浪淘尽，
千古风流人物。
故垒西边，人道是，
三国周郎赤壁。
乱石崩云，惊涛裂岸，
卷起千堆雪。
江山如画，昔日多少豪杰。
（五）
天亮了。马路上的车多了起来。这一夜，我的眼泪都哭干了。虽然每次离家都恋恋不舍，这次却尤其伤感，好像多了一层永别的感觉。人长大了，究竟是要在外面走出一片自己世界的。新的一年，来吧！
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
I made my way in that direction where, to judge by the voices, stood beings akin to me.
One of my favourite novels is Invitation to a Beheading by Vladimir Nabokov.
Without intending to be overly narcissistic, I repost here a hastily-written reading response on this novel for a Vladimir Nabokov class I took in the spring. It's certainly not my best work, but rereading it reminds me of how much I would rather be writing about Nabokov than international trade.
PS. The quote in the title is probably my absolutely favourite line in the book. Sheer genius.
Many have compared the experience of reading Invitation to a Beheading to Cincinnatus’ slow and torturous road to execution. Upon finishing the novel, I find myself thinking that not only do Cincinnatus and the reader both go through an “execution”, but they also underwent a journey of self-discovery. After a lifetime in a world where everyone acts in an irrational manner, Cincinnatus finally heads toward the other opaque beings, and only in taking this step is he finally about to learn who he really is. Likewise, by challenging the reader to delve into a world where “gnostical turpitude” is punishable by death and judges and prosecutors are meant to be brothers, forcing us to explore how we feel about this world and these characters, Nabokov gives us a better understanding of ourselves. Instead of viewing it as a novel of despondence and oppression, Invitation to a Beheading is more appropriately seen as a novel of hope.
I have always admired how Nabokov’s works seem to have infinite levels of interpretation – the literal, metaphorical, allegorical, existential, and so on. At Cincinnatus’ trial, “the words “translucence” and “opacity” rose and burst like bubbles (21)”, and so he is condemned to death because he is not translucent like the others. He practices duality and hides another “Cincinnatus” within himself, one who dreams of another reality, and such secrets makes him opaque. On some level, Nabokov uses Cincinnatus to represent all those who feel out of place from their environment, and Invitation to a Beheading can be seen as a positive force of encouragement dedicated to anyone who feels different. People are afraid of what they cannot understand, like Cincinnatus’ opaqueness, but even in the darkness of his prison cell, Cincinnatus still believes “it exists, my dream world, it must exist, since, surely there must be an original of the clumsy copy. (93)” Isn’t it ironic that Cincinnatus had accepted his fate from the beginning, with self-pity and lamentations, when all along he had been aware of possessing the power to change the situation? “…and by evoking them – not believing in them, perhaps, but still evoking them – Cincinnatus allowed them the right to exist, supported them, nourished them with himself. (156)” This is an especially memorable line referring to the characters of Rodion, Rodrig, M’sieur Pierre, and the like. It implies that their right to exist lies in the hands of Cincinnatus, yet they are also the exact individuals who are carrying out his execution!
In the end, when Cincinnatus finally asks himself, “why am I here? Why and I lying like this? (222)” In a world shrouded with cloudy misery, there is now “a clarity he had never experienced before – at first almost painful…but then suffusing him with joy.” (222) This clarity comes with the realization that the power of one lies within himself, and it is no coincidence that Cincinnatus’ world collapses and prison guards shrink to the size of larvae as soon as he finds the courage to pursue his “dream world.” Perhaps, through this gruesome tale, Nabokov is telling us that, like Cincinnatus, we should also be edging closer to beings akin to us.
PS. The quote in the title is probably my absolutely favourite line in the book. Sheer genius.
Many have compared the experience of reading Invitation to a Beheading to Cincinnatus’ slow and torturous road to execution. Upon finishing the novel, I find myself thinking that not only do Cincinnatus and the reader both go through an “execution”, but they also underwent a journey of self-discovery. After a lifetime in a world where everyone acts in an irrational manner, Cincinnatus finally heads toward the other opaque beings, and only in taking this step is he finally about to learn who he really is. Likewise, by challenging the reader to delve into a world where “gnostical turpitude” is punishable by death and judges and prosecutors are meant to be brothers, forcing us to explore how we feel about this world and these characters, Nabokov gives us a better understanding of ourselves. Instead of viewing it as a novel of despondence and oppression, Invitation to a Beheading is more appropriately seen as a novel of hope.
I have always admired how Nabokov’s works seem to have infinite levels of interpretation – the literal, metaphorical, allegorical, existential, and so on. At Cincinnatus’ trial, “the words “translucence” and “opacity” rose and burst like bubbles (21)”, and so he is condemned to death because he is not translucent like the others. He practices duality and hides another “Cincinnatus” within himself, one who dreams of another reality, and such secrets makes him opaque. On some level, Nabokov uses Cincinnatus to represent all those who feel out of place from their environment, and Invitation to a Beheading can be seen as a positive force of encouragement dedicated to anyone who feels different. People are afraid of what they cannot understand, like Cincinnatus’ opaqueness, but even in the darkness of his prison cell, Cincinnatus still believes “it exists, my dream world, it must exist, since, surely there must be an original of the clumsy copy. (93)” Isn’t it ironic that Cincinnatus had accepted his fate from the beginning, with self-pity and lamentations, when all along he had been aware of possessing the power to change the situation? “…and by evoking them – not believing in them, perhaps, but still evoking them – Cincinnatus allowed them the right to exist, supported them, nourished them with himself. (156)” This is an especially memorable line referring to the characters of Rodion, Rodrig, M’sieur Pierre, and the like. It implies that their right to exist lies in the hands of Cincinnatus, yet they are also the exact individuals who are carrying out his execution!
In the end, when Cincinnatus finally asks himself, “why am I here? Why and I lying like this? (222)” In a world shrouded with cloudy misery, there is now “a clarity he had never experienced before – at first almost painful…but then suffusing him with joy.” (222) This clarity comes with the realization that the power of one lies within himself, and it is no coincidence that Cincinnatus’ world collapses and prison guards shrink to the size of larvae as soon as he finds the courage to pursue his “dream world.” Perhaps, through this gruesome tale, Nabokov is telling us that, like Cincinnatus, we should also be edging closer to beings akin to us.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Addicted to Fashion Blogs
Beauty is really hard to resist. Sometimes, I wish I was in fashion school.
sources: Picked Pics, The Sartorialist
sources: Picked Pics, The Sartorialist
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Thought Provoking...
An accurate depiction of society, if I let my pessimistic instincts take over. It's good to see nothing's changed since 50 B.C.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
First Snow
I woke up and saw white everywhere.
Usually I keep the blinds open when I sleep, so that the abundance of light outside would force me out of my practical hibernation. This morning, the scenery outside was blindingly beautiful.
Well, then. Never mind the pile of half-open democratic theory books by my pillow and the pages of monetary policy notes scattered all over the floor. Never mind the slush and unsalted sidewalks. Never mind the cold and my unkempt appearance. I decided to follow my instincts and go get coffee.
Maybe the years in Singapore has eliminated all memories of a temperate climate, because despite being a Beijing-er I still marvel at snow. I can't help it. There is something about the perfect geometry of a snowflake and the awash of whiteness it brings that best conveys the wonder of our world. Plus, there is no better feeling than walking through the quiet streets of the morning, with snowflakes falling on your hair, and a winter wonderland before you.
I leave my apartment and slowly trek towards Istria Cafe. It must have been snowing all night, because some accumulation had been built up on the sidewalks. I wave hello to the man spreading salt on the pavement. A couple of kids prance past me, excited about a snowball fight by the lake. It is at times like these when I feel like I'm seeing the real Hyde Park and appreciate this kaleidoscopic community. I may be an outsider (a foreigner, even!)wearing a University of Chicago sweatshirt, but lately, on walks like this one, I finally began to open my eyes. I want to understand this neighbourhood, discover its charms, and remember the ambiance of this little juxtaposition of race and culture on the South Side.
The distance to Istria is only two blocks down Lake Park, but I took my time. Despite the snow, I stop in front of the murals on the 56th street Metra station and examine them closely for the first time. The paintings depict various members of the Hyde Park community, from a university professor to an immigrant shop keeper. I step back to absorb its powerful message, and see an old lady walking past shoot me a little smile. It warmed me up instantly.
Finally, I reach my destination and walk into the smell of dark roast coffee and freshly baked muffins. Five minutes later, with a soy chai latte and cinnamon chip scone in hand, I head home feeling inexplicably contented. By now, it was snowing harder, but the pavements had been salted. Brushing the snowflakes out of my hair, I watch the salt crystals glisten in the sunlight, my mind flooded by an overwhelming sense of peace. 40 pages worth of papers and two finals await me, but for now, I couldn't help but think: Life is good.
Usually I keep the blinds open when I sleep, so that the abundance of light outside would force me out of my practical hibernation. This morning, the scenery outside was blindingly beautiful.
Well, then. Never mind the pile of half-open democratic theory books by my pillow and the pages of monetary policy notes scattered all over the floor. Never mind the slush and unsalted sidewalks. Never mind the cold and my unkempt appearance. I decided to follow my instincts and go get coffee.
Maybe the years in Singapore has eliminated all memories of a temperate climate, because despite being a Beijing-er I still marvel at snow. I can't help it. There is something about the perfect geometry of a snowflake and the awash of whiteness it brings that best conveys the wonder of our world. Plus, there is no better feeling than walking through the quiet streets of the morning, with snowflakes falling on your hair, and a winter wonderland before you.
I leave my apartment and slowly trek towards Istria Cafe. It must have been snowing all night, because some accumulation had been built up on the sidewalks. I wave hello to the man spreading salt on the pavement. A couple of kids prance past me, excited about a snowball fight by the lake. It is at times like these when I feel like I'm seeing the real Hyde Park and appreciate this kaleidoscopic community. I may be an outsider (a foreigner, even!)wearing a University of Chicago sweatshirt, but lately, on walks like this one, I finally began to open my eyes. I want to understand this neighbourhood, discover its charms, and remember the ambiance of this little juxtaposition of race and culture on the South Side.
The distance to Istria is only two blocks down Lake Park, but I took my time. Despite the snow, I stop in front of the murals on the 56th street Metra station and examine them closely for the first time. The paintings depict various members of the Hyde Park community, from a university professor to an immigrant shop keeper. I step back to absorb its powerful message, and see an old lady walking past shoot me a little smile. It warmed me up instantly.
Finally, I reach my destination and walk into the smell of dark roast coffee and freshly baked muffins. Five minutes later, with a soy chai latte and cinnamon chip scone in hand, I head home feeling inexplicably contented. By now, it was snowing harder, but the pavements had been salted. Brushing the snowflakes out of my hair, I watch the salt crystals glisten in the sunlight, my mind flooded by an overwhelming sense of peace. 40 pages worth of papers and two finals await me, but for now, I couldn't help but think: Life is good.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Favourite Song of the Moment
Jack Johnson never ceases to amaze me with the beauty and depth of his music. I had this song on replay all day today, this obsession isn't dying out anywhere soon. =)
Monday, November 22, 2010
Things that Inspire Me.
Sometimes we all need a little reminder that dreams are worth pursuing.
Greg Mortenson
Bryce Courtenay: The Power of One
A favorite since encountering it in Borders, Auckland, New Zealand in 2004.
每当夜间疲倦，正想偷懒时，仰面在灯光中瞥见他黑瘦的面貌，似乎正要说出抑扬顿挫的话来，便使我忽又良心发现，而且增加勇气了，于是点上一枝烟，再继续写些为“正人君子”之流所深恶痛疾的文字。
- 鲁迅 《藤野先生》
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
- William Ernest Henley
Greg Mortenson
Bryce Courtenay: The Power of One
A favorite since encountering it in Borders, Auckland, New Zealand in 2004.
每当夜间疲倦，正想偷懒时，仰面在灯光中瞥见他黑瘦的面貌，似乎正要说出抑扬顿挫的话来，便使我忽又良心发现，而且增加勇气了，于是点上一枝烟，再继续写些为“正人君子”之流所深恶痛疾的文字。
- 鲁迅 《藤野先生》
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
- William Ernest Henley
Friday, November 19, 2010
浪漫人生
周四晚上无所事事,心血来潮地在指甲上涂了一层OPI In Style Red。经灯光下仔细观察，发现效果果然不错，使整个人都变得更有女人味！ 哈哈！ 在红指甲的启发下，我又翻出化装包，给自己画了个实实在在的”小烟熏“。 正在端详自己的新look,突然想起三毛也是这样化装的。
三毛呀三毛，你害得我好苦。去年夏天刚刚发现《撒哈拉的故事》的那段日子，我简直是读的神魂颠倒、鬼迷心窍。我多么向往你的生活！你逃脱了世俗，不受社会的拘束，与自己的爱人走遍地球上最神秘的土地。我一度曾经做梦都在办理退学手续，然后背上书包不顾一切地去探索一个新世界。我不仅憧憬你的生活经历，也羡慕你的爱情。你和荷西的婚姻虽然不幸地结束了，但是你们曾经拥有的幸福使一切都值得！很多人（包括我的母亲）都认为你其貌不扬，可是我觉得你尤其迷人。你的美丽不是所有人都能欣赏的，可是你独特、超凡脱俗的气质令人难忘。
你过世快20年了。为了纪念你的精神，明天我也要画上黑眼线。但愿有一天，我也能忘掉现代社会中繁琐的事物，在沙漠中欣赏游牧民族的雕刻，寻找着那些被人遗忘了的骆驼骨头。
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Thoughts on China's Rise
It's no secret that China's not a favorite of the American public.
In a very insightful paper on trade politics I recently read in class, there was a survey of public opinion on trade with various countries.The exact statistics escape my mind, but I remember being struck by the fact that over 70% thought trade with Canada was a positive thing, 50% thought trade with Japan was a positive thing, and only 15% felt good about trade with China. Why is that? Bear in mind that these people are already ardent supporters of free trade.
If trade is about maximizing welfare gains and benefiting American consumers and producers, does it really matter THAT much who you trade with? Americans are practical, so what makes Japan ok and China utterly unacceptable? You could make an argument about Mao, communism, blah blah blah, but that's in the past. 50 years ago Japan was the yellow peril and got the A-bomb treatment, now Japan is a key ally in the Asia-Pacific region.
So apparently China is a threat. The most popular villain in campaign adds now are not greedy Wall Street Bankers or Al-Qaeda, it's Beijing. This hostility is worrying. Although many optimists feel that this is just a case of "lack of understanding", it is inherently more than that. China is rising, but it is not intending on upsetting the global balance of power. I can't speak for the future, but right now the Chinese government has a lot more to worry about than becoming a superpower to rival the US. Maybe when we solve our own problems of unequal distribution of income, development in rural areas, the gender gap, then we can start thinking about dabbling in global affairs.
It is understandable why China's actions are perceived as threatening. True, we are the cause of massive trade deficits and we spend a bit too much on military expenses, but shouldn't a state have the right to the belated growth that it should have had 100 years ago? China is not an upstart, in fact as one of the oldest civilizations in the world it has the right to be a powerful country like its western counterparts. If a few events had one differently in 1644, our path to growth and modernization would not have been blocked until 1979, but that's evoking too much history and regret. For now, we would appreciate being left alone. Prosperity is a natural right of nations, so why deem it anything else?
In a very insightful paper on trade politics I recently read in class, there was a survey of public opinion on trade with various countries.The exact statistics escape my mind, but I remember being struck by the fact that over 70% thought trade with Canada was a positive thing, 50% thought trade with Japan was a positive thing, and only 15% felt good about trade with China. Why is that? Bear in mind that these people are already ardent supporters of free trade.
If trade is about maximizing welfare gains and benefiting American consumers and producers, does it really matter THAT much who you trade with? Americans are practical, so what makes Japan ok and China utterly unacceptable? You could make an argument about Mao, communism, blah blah blah, but that's in the past. 50 years ago Japan was the yellow peril and got the A-bomb treatment, now Japan is a key ally in the Asia-Pacific region.
So apparently China is a threat. The most popular villain in campaign adds now are not greedy Wall Street Bankers or Al-Qaeda, it's Beijing. This hostility is worrying. Although many optimists feel that this is just a case of "lack of understanding", it is inherently more than that. China is rising, but it is not intending on upsetting the global balance of power. I can't speak for the future, but right now the Chinese government has a lot more to worry about than becoming a superpower to rival the US. Maybe when we solve our own problems of unequal distribution of income, development in rural areas, the gender gap, then we can start thinking about dabbling in global affairs.
It is understandable why China's actions are perceived as threatening. True, we are the cause of massive trade deficits and we spend a bit too much on military expenses, but shouldn't a state have the right to the belated growth that it should have had 100 years ago? China is not an upstart, in fact as one of the oldest civilizations in the world it has the right to be a powerful country like its western counterparts. If a few events had one differently in 1644, our path to growth and modernization would not have been blocked until 1979, but that's evoking too much history and regret. For now, we would appreciate being left alone. Prosperity is a natural right of nations, so why deem it anything else?
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Moral Perfection fail.
Why is it that every time I blog, I'm actually in Crerar supposedly writing a paper?
Anyways...
As a person, I am actually pretty easily impressed by things.
I gawk at physics professors and even grad students at work, I'm in awe of all of my own professors this quarter, and when people make intelligent comments in class, I do this 'nod of approval' thing which is totally lame but something I just can't help but do.
But I haven't been this impressed by anyone in a very very long time.
Ben Franklin.
I don't know how anybody can possibly be nerdier than me. I took an interest in something from civ class and read everything I could find on Franklin's life. He is just a remarkable human being. Mathematician, politician, statesman, writer, scientist, how one person could be so intellectually superior at everything is just beyond me. But what impressed me the most is his constant quest for improvement. Others thought the 13 virtues for Moral Perfection were hilarious, I thought they were ingenious. It is certainly very reminiscent of the preachings of Confucius and Mencius. Franklin admitted in his Autobiography that he never managed to achieve all of them. To commemorate his spirit, I decided to evaluate myself on the 13 virtues as outlined by Franklin.
1. Temperance
Eat not to Dullness. Drink not to Elevation.
Well, I certainly don't drink to elevation (except when in Singapore), but there are definitely times when I don't know why the fuck I am eating. Hmmm...
2. Silence
Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling Conversation.
Having a big mouth isn't one of my problems, but when I think of all the times I wasted gushing over football players or fashion or some movie or just nonsense...it seems that the content of my conversations are more trifling than substance. fail.
3. Order
Let all your Things have their Places. Let each Part of your Business have its Time.
If there is one thing I desperately need in my life. It's order. I am doing better now by rigorously following my planner, but life still isn't as orderly as I like.
4.Resolution
Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.
I often make resolutions, but fail to keep them.
5.Frugality
Make no Expense but to do good to others or yourself: ie. Waste Nothing
I sincerely try.
6.Industry
Lose no Time. Be always employ'd in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary Actions.
Uh-oh, is blogging necessary? No. Is cranking out that civ paper necessary? Yes. THEN WTF AM I DOING?
7. Sincerity
Use no hurtful Deceit. Think innocently and justly, and if you speak; speak accordingly.
I may be many things, but I'm not a bitch. In fact, I am often too nice and see good in people that is actually nonexistent. This virtue is impractical for survival in modern society. Franklin fail.
8.Justice
Wrong non, by doing Injuries or omitting the Benefits that are your Duty.
see above.
9.Moderation
Avoid Extremes. Forbear resenting Injuries so much as you think they deserve.
Moderation, thanks to the Chineseness ingrained in my spirit, has always been something I abide in.
10. Cleanliness.
Tolerate no Uncleanness in Body, clothes or Habitation.
Personal hygiene isn't an issue, but I sense Franklin is telling me, "Go clean THY ROOM. NOW"
11. Tranquility.
Be not disturbed at Trifles, or Accidents common or unavoidable.
ZEN = god
12. Chastity
Rarely use Venery but for health of Offspring
Again, not a problem.
13. Humility.
Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
Considering Jesus was crucified and Socrates stoned to death for "corrupting the minds of youth", I don't really know what Franklin is getting at here. Most cryptic of all descriptions. Religious figures ain't my cup of tea, but I will happily imitate Socrates for his wit and courage. ^_^
Conclusion: I have A LONG WAY to go before achieving moral perfection. First step should probably be getting off the internet.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
回忆
父母常常劝我多照相，说等你毕业后就该后悔没有记录下来大学生活的点点滴滴。我每次都不耐烦地回掉，说太忙，没时间，没什么可照的。其实，他们的用心良苦我怎么不理解。现在每次翻出来高中时的留影，看看几个人那天真的笑容，都能感到一种莫名其妙的幸福。
回想起高中时常自居为“wise beyond my years", 真是又气又笑。那时候与M和P写的模仿New York Times风格的长篇大论还存在电脑里面。翻出来一看，不禁感叹我们当时多么幼稚，也回想起高中时最熟悉的情景。
狮城的5月小雨绵绵，空气中透着闷热。四个人照常放学后去Orchard Road上的starbucks喝冰咖啡。把书包胡乱仍在地上，翘起二郎腿聊个海阔天空。我又在抱怨H - 为什么他真么冷漠，去了澳洲后像变了一个人。R感叹新加坡太小，小的令人窒息，容不下我们这些体验过世界的”international kids"，这就是为何H一定要走。话题转到下周末的SAT - 一直在复习，作题，梦想着满分，为什么？为了考上名牌大学，拿到奖学金，去美国。
M是几个人中最恋家的，她心甘情愿准备留在新加坡。“你们都要走了，难道不会想念这里？想念滴尘不染的街道，路边的大排挡，花园般美丽的城市 ..." 其实，狮城对我们谁来说都不是“真正”的家。P怀念着曼谷，我也忘不了北京，可是这里不是家又是什么？Home is where family is, 何况我们在此度过了多少快乐的时光。
夜深人静的晚上，我总爱怀旧。越来越不能自拔。20岁都不到的人也要怀旧，真是荒唐！ 也罢，白天要面对现实中的一个个未知数，夜里去那无忧无虑的日子“梦游”一下也别有一番滋味。
翻出电话卡给M打个电话吧。
回想起高中时常自居为“wise beyond my years", 真是又气又笑。那时候与M和P写的模仿New York Times风格的长篇大论还存在电脑里面。翻出来一看，不禁感叹我们当时多么幼稚，也回想起高中时最熟悉的情景。
狮城的5月小雨绵绵，空气中透着闷热。四个人照常放学后去Orchard Road上的starbucks喝冰咖啡。把书包胡乱仍在地上，翘起二郎腿聊个海阔天空。我又在抱怨H - 为什么他真么冷漠，去了澳洲后像变了一个人。R感叹新加坡太小，小的令人窒息，容不下我们这些体验过世界的”international kids"，这就是为何H一定要走。话题转到下周末的SAT - 一直在复习，作题，梦想着满分，为什么？为了考上名牌大学，拿到奖学金，去美国。
M是几个人中最恋家的，她心甘情愿准备留在新加坡。“你们都要走了，难道不会想念这里？想念滴尘不染的街道，路边的大排挡，花园般美丽的城市 ..." 其实，狮城对我们谁来说都不是“真正”的家。P怀念着曼谷，我也忘不了北京，可是这里不是家又是什么？Home is where family is, 何况我们在此度过了多少快乐的时光。
夜深人静的晚上，我总爱怀旧。越来越不能自拔。20岁都不到的人也要怀旧，真是荒唐！ 也罢，白天要面对现实中的一个个未知数，夜里去那无忧无虑的日子“梦游”一下也别有一番滋味。
翻出电话卡给M打个电话吧。
Monday, October 11, 2010
Hope
Life works in mysterious ways.
Sometimes, hope comes to us in the most unexpected fashion.
Today, I was in a tiny, cramped bathroom stall so typical of my school, when I noticed something on the wall. It wasn't your typical bathroom scribble. Someone had written, in beautiful cursive handwriting,
It's the first day of my third year and I'm miserable. I am miserable here. I am miserable.
This was a cry for help from a total stranger, and I felt for her/him. I know what it feels like to feel nothing but despair in this environment. And apparently, I wasn't alone.
All around the original writing were people's words of encouragement.
"You are not alone. =)"
"Don't stress, you will get through this."
"Tomorrow will be better."
"We all feel your pain, but life goes on."
I always thought this was a school full of cold, selfish people, who strive for nothing but personal gain. But the bathroom incident taught me something new - after two years here, I still hadn't grasped the true nature of my peers. It's true, they are a tough crowd to read, but knowing that compassion still floats outside amidst the bitter cold warms my heart. I feel like I just took a sip from a giant mug of hot chocolate. The feeling is good
Sometimes, hope comes to us in the most unexpected fashion.
Today, I was in a tiny, cramped bathroom stall so typical of my school, when I noticed something on the wall. It wasn't your typical bathroom scribble. Someone had written, in beautiful cursive handwriting,
It's the first day of my third year and I'm miserable. I am miserable here. I am miserable.
This was a cry for help from a total stranger, and I felt for her/him. I know what it feels like to feel nothing but despair in this environment. And apparently, I wasn't alone.
All around the original writing were people's words of encouragement.
"You are not alone. =)"
"Don't stress, you will get through this."
"Tomorrow will be better."
"We all feel your pain, but life goes on."
I always thought this was a school full of cold, selfish people, who strive for nothing but personal gain. But the bathroom incident taught me something new - after two years here, I still hadn't grasped the true nature of my peers. It's true, they are a tough crowd to read, but knowing that compassion still floats outside amidst the bitter cold warms my heart. I feel like I just took a sip from a giant mug of hot chocolate. The feeling is good
Friday, October 1, 2010
该往那里飞？
最近开始听李宗盛的歌，听完后感触很深。人生究竟是无情的、残酷的。在温室般的家中成长了那么多年，直到离家求学后才体会到生活的酸甜苦辣。
“未来会怎样究竟有谁会知道
幸福是否只是一种传说
我永远都找不到....
当我尝尽人情冷暖
当你决定为了你的理想燃烧
生活的压力与生命的尊严
哪一个重要..."
一转眼就三年级了。
离毕业只有一年多时间， 周围的人都像热锅上的蚂蚁一样围着各大投行转，位自己的前途打着小算盘。美国银行，花旗银行..而我的未来在哪里，我自己也说不清楚。短短两年时间改变了很多事情。世界银行是否太理想主义？ 新加坡政府？这么年轻就把事业约束起来，值得么？现在我迫切地需要静下来思考。
“未来会怎样究竟有谁会知道
幸福是否只是一种传说
我永远都找不到....
当我尝尽人情冷暖
当你决定为了你的理想燃烧
生活的压力与生命的尊严
哪一个重要..."
一转眼就三年级了。
离毕业只有一年多时间， 周围的人都像热锅上的蚂蚁一样围着各大投行转，位自己的前途打着小算盘。美国银行，花旗银行..而我的未来在哪里，我自己也说不清楚。短短两年时间改变了很多事情。世界银行是否太理想主义？ 新加坡政府？这么年轻就把事业约束起来，值得么？现在我迫切地需要静下来思考。
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
为了再见
两年后,再次从ipod中翻出这首精品。听了又听，只想说一句话：021crew 的歌，值得细细品味。
我尤其被“相见很晚 现在却马上就要说再见/从小知道什么是天下无不散的晚宴" 一行打动。十年来，飘洋过海，走南闯北，不知多少次为将要离开自己爱的人们而流泪。这首歌说出了我的lifestory，我的心声。
sunming:
时间 已经流逝了的每一天 地点
共同相处的每个空间
人物 一张张脸浮现眼前 事件
海岸线隔开的怀念
相见很晚 现在却马上就要说再见
从小知道什么是天下无不散的晚宴
成长的路上我们都学会了如何珍惜眼前
说一声朋友 记得我们在彼此心间
无论相隔多远我们有过共同的时间空间
我相信你会留恋留恋海的这边
心里知道不知什么时候才能再见
也不知 到时会有什么样的改变
笑与泪的人生我们有过同一片蓝天
微笑着度过每一天 是我真诚的祝愿
听着风吹来的声音一遍又一遍
一首共同的旋律在你我耳边盘旋
上海 我的爱 这里有属于我们的将来
无边无际的大海（大海）
不能将你我的一切隔开
上海 我的爱 这里有属于我们的将来
无边无际的大海（大海）
不能将你我的一切隔开
dada:
风吹来 拥挤的月台
我想我可能需要暂时告别美丽的上海
人虽然要离开 但情一定还在
为了美好的将来我才去那遥远的国外
又或是不 离开 我曾经反侧辗转
现在和未来哪边才是我的正确答案
找不到开场白始终也没有终点站
是不是就这样决定飞跃那无边的大海
枫叶与白玉兰是如此无奈遥远
爱同友谊或许就消失在一刹那间
我相信我的身边 这事情不会出现
真正的感情一定经得起那时间考验
时间一点一点在走岁月一寸一寸在流
我不会为了眼前的留恋而犹豫回首
再见了 我的朋友 暂别了 我的所有
相聚的时光现在可能需要事隔三秋
回想多少次我因为你们不舍得走
此刻的我真正明白什么叫作欲走还留
喧闹的街头 我曾经紧握你手
甜蜜的爱情留在了每一个十字路口
爱或是被爱 越来越让人成熟
为了明天我只能选择继续要走
抛开之前一切的烦恼和忧愁
坚持不懈执著的去相信天长地久
（钢琴。。。）
lil illegal:
from the shanghai ghetto to the new home Toronto
it ain’t final double v style still hustle
I got 4 tempo but I wanna say mo’ What I see is instrumental you see sophisticato
So sensational with the opp logo, things will get lyrical and sentimental
I see a girl sitting right in front of a white piano
Wei da all you hear is my memory flow
Sitting back with this pen in my hand Don’t know why the laughter is disappeared
Tring to write down something that we can share But everything is black in my head
Til the very end when we meet again Hope you can speak out the word I said
Remember the first time you and me T.H.U. double G.I.N.G.
lotz:
啊~~努力~总会有结果 放弃总是解脱
只有最熟悉的朋友才会叫我别失落
他说人生何几多 会有多少的起落
哪怕走到天涯海角也不能~~算错过
为了我的朋~友 在你走的时~候
将会留下最美丽的回忆在你身后
为你扶持左右 快乐就是所有
一~~切的所求 烦恼全部带走
魏老师 他要离开 仍然期待
国外不会走得太快
虽然要分开 现在给你无极限的关怀
就算要走开 但是（我们的） 回忆永远还在
记得一起 happy 一起喝啤~~酒一起练习的 一些点滴
我拿起笔 想说的话全部写在歌词里
都不忘记 曾~经~有~过这样的兄弟
上海 我的爱 这里有属于我们的将来
无边无际的大海（大海）
不会将你我一切隔开
上海 我的爱 这里有属于我们的将来
无边无际的大海（大海）
不会将你我一切隔开
我尤其被“相见很晚 现在却马上就要说再见/从小知道什么是天下无不散的晚宴" 一行打动。十年来，飘洋过海，走南闯北，不知多少次为将要离开自己爱的人们而流泪。这首歌说出了我的lifestory，我的心声。
sunming:
时间 已经流逝了的每一天 地点
共同相处的每个空间
人物 一张张脸浮现眼前 事件
海岸线隔开的怀念
相见很晚 现在却马上就要说再见
从小知道什么是天下无不散的晚宴
成长的路上我们都学会了如何珍惜眼前
说一声朋友 记得我们在彼此心间
无论相隔多远我们有过共同的时间空间
我相信你会留恋留恋海的这边
心里知道不知什么时候才能再见
也不知 到时会有什么样的改变
笑与泪的人生我们有过同一片蓝天
微笑着度过每一天 是我真诚的祝愿
听着风吹来的声音一遍又一遍
一首共同的旋律在你我耳边盘旋
上海 我的爱 这里有属于我们的将来
无边无际的大海（大海）
不能将你我的一切隔开
上海 我的爱 这里有属于我们的将来
无边无际的大海（大海）
不能将你我的一切隔开
dada:
风吹来 拥挤的月台
我想我可能需要暂时告别美丽的上海
人虽然要离开 但情一定还在
为了美好的将来我才去那遥远的国外
又或是不 离开 我曾经反侧辗转
现在和未来哪边才是我的正确答案
找不到开场白始终也没有终点站
是不是就这样决定飞跃那无边的大海
枫叶与白玉兰是如此无奈遥远
爱同友谊或许就消失在一刹那间
我相信我的身边 这事情不会出现
真正的感情一定经得起那时间考验
时间一点一点在走岁月一寸一寸在流
我不会为了眼前的留恋而犹豫回首
再见了 我的朋友 暂别了 我的所有
相聚的时光现在可能需要事隔三秋
回想多少次我因为你们不舍得走
此刻的我真正明白什么叫作欲走还留
喧闹的街头 我曾经紧握你手
甜蜜的爱情留在了每一个十字路口
爱或是被爱 越来越让人成熟
为了明天我只能选择继续要走
抛开之前一切的烦恼和忧愁
坚持不懈执著的去相信天长地久
（钢琴。。。）
lil illegal:
from the shanghai ghetto to the new home Toronto
it ain’t final double v style still hustle
I got 4 tempo but I wanna say mo’ What I see is instrumental you see sophisticato
So sensational with the opp logo, things will get lyrical and sentimental
I see a girl sitting right in front of a white piano
Wei da all you hear is my memory flow
Sitting back with this pen in my hand Don’t know why the laughter is disappeared
Tring to write down something that we can share But everything is black in my head
Til the very end when we meet again Hope you can speak out the word I said
Remember the first time you and me T.H.U. double G.I.N.G.
lotz:
啊~~努力~总会有结果 放弃总是解脱
只有最熟悉的朋友才会叫我别失落
他说人生何几多 会有多少的起落
哪怕走到天涯海角也不能~~算错过
为了我的朋~友 在你走的时~候
将会留下最美丽的回忆在你身后
为你扶持左右 快乐就是所有
一~~切的所求 烦恼全部带走
魏老师 他要离开 仍然期待
国外不会走得太快
虽然要分开 现在给你无极限的关怀
就算要走开 但是（我们的） 回忆永远还在
记得一起 happy 一起喝啤~~酒一起练习的 一些点滴
我拿起笔 想说的话全部写在歌词里
都不忘记 曾~经~有~过这样的兄弟
上海 我的爱 这里有属于我们的将来
无边无际的大海（大海）
不会将你我一切隔开
上海 我的爱 这里有属于我们的将来
无边无际的大海（大海）
不会将你我一切隔开
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