awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

 I want someone who looks at me the way he looks at her.

Damn you Kaká and Caroline, you just made me whimper in the Reg.

GAHHHHH

The Buddha's Wisdom

This quarter, I had a serendipitous encounter with Buddhism.

For 'Politics and Human Nature', I had been prepared to read Hobbes, Nietzsche, Freud, and Darwin, but Walpola Sri Rahula's "What the Buddha Taught" was something of a surprise on the reading list. And as much as the atheist in me tries to deny this, I enjoyed this book immensely. There's no greater joy than finishing a book with a sense of revelation, as if the workings of the world had become clearer. I found that feeling in reading my beloved political philosophers and literary icons, but also in Dr. Rahula's work. It dawned on me that Buddhism isn't so much a religion, but a philosophy, a way of life. It does not require rites, rituals, and conversion, advocates the tolerance of other beliefs, acknowledges the absence of supernatural power (the Buddha is a leader, not a deity) and of the afterlife (contrary to popular belief, Nirvana isn't "heaven"). Rather, as I read the Buddha's teachings, there is a growing familiarity. The similarities between this and the works of Confucius and Mencius are uncanny. Perhaps, there is a reason my ancestors voraciously embraced this import from the Indian subcontinent.

One passage in the book was particularly enlightening.

"You cannot escape life however you may try. As long as you live, whether in a town or in a cave, you have to face it and live it. Real life is the present moment - not the memories of the past which is dead and gone, nor the dreams of the future which is not yet born. One who lives in the present moment lives the real life, and he is the happiest.

When asked why his disciples, who lived a simple and quiet life with only one meal a day, were so radiant, the Buddha replied: " They do not repent the past, nor do they brood over the future. They live in the present. Therefore they are radiant. By brooding over the future and repenting the past, fools dry up like green reeds cut down in the sun."  "

成功就是把别人喝咖啡的时间,用来学习

鲁迅的这句名言昼夜激励着我，但这并不意味着我能够抗拒负面情绪的摆布。

有时，望着窗外灰蒙、昏暗的街道，竟感叹自己的生活也是黯淡的。

所以，我首先要做的，是找回自己的动力。

对自己人生的追求，我一直很清楚。即使为生活和肩上责任所迫要先走一段弯路，眼中的终点站从未模糊不清。既然决定为了理想燃烧，就要敢付出成功的代价。无论遇到多少挫折，我始终坚信命运是公平的。也许走到人生尽头时，远在金字塔尖上的那个目标也还只是个梦想，但是追求理想的旅途却为一生增添了光彩。


为了自己的梦想，继续努力！

幸福的感觉

周五晚上照例和家里聊天。爸在电话里说:

" 叶子, 我们虽然没什么大富, 但是用家里的积蓄加上你的奖学金，也能供你读完大学。我和你妈的事业是步入尾声了，但是这些年的走南闯北总是充实的。两家的老人都还健在。一家三口无话不说。女儿大学快毕业了，马上就要自己闯荡人生。我想起这些，每天都感到很知足。咱们家是一个幸福的家庭。”

幸福是个简单又遥远的概念。为什么每天带着微笑醒来，怀着希望入睡的感觉在三年前那么容易找到，而如今竟然如此难？幸福无非是一种心态。人生的确充满烦恼，但是我会等待狂风暴雨后的绚丽彩虹。毕竟，la vie est belle, 生活是美好的。

关于爱情

最近，我在'政治和人性'这门课上第一次接触到了进化心理学 （evolutionary psychology)。作为心理学的新起之秀，这一学派极其准确地解释了人类许多似乎不符合生存逻辑的行为。‘爱情’就是其中最佳的例子。

人们为什么会坠入爱河？为什么我们会对一个人产生一种不可思议的依恋，对他/她念念不忘，甚至为这个人放弃自己的生命？进化心理学告诉我们，男女之间的爱慕只是为保护下一代的生存而产生的一种生理反应。在几十万年前恶劣的环境中，父亲的存在可以决定一个婴儿和他的母亲的生死。正是大自然的残忍使人类‘进化’出了爱情，让雄性和雌性之产生一种强烈的爱慕。恰恰是这种感情的存在迫使了雄性在交配后留下来陪伴自己的陪偶和婴儿，从中确保了自己的孩子不会被其他寻偶的雄性杀害。

这个理论在我的脑海中简直是晴天雷劈。难道憧憬已久的‘海枯石烂，两情不渝’只是出于生存本能？回想起和H经历过的种种坎坷，心里一片默然。曾经拥有过的幸福和后来的心碎，现在一想也不过是老祖宗遗传下来用来传宗接代的直觉。

oh，除了苦笑，还能做什么？

百年前的知己

　                                                               满江红

　　敲碎离愁，纱窗外、风摇翠竹。人去后、吹箫声断，倚楼人独。满眼不堪三月暮，举头已觉千山绿。但试将一纸寄来书，从头读。

　　相思字，空盈幅；相思意，何时足？滴罗襟点点，泪珠盈掬。芳草不迷行客路，垂杨只碍离人目。最苦是、立尽月黄昏，阑干曲。


辛弃疾, 如果时间可以倒退, 我愿陪伴你终生。

La Belle et Le Bad Boy

One of my favourite songs of all time. 
Bad boys are not a really personal preference, but the story is a familiar one. Beautiful, but doomed from the start.


Ils s'etaient rencontres sur les bancs d'l'ecole
Entre une heure de colle de maths ou d'un cours d'espagnol
C'etait un fille fun fana de football
Lui ne craignait pas les balles, c'etait le goal
C'qu'il lui promettait c'etait des ballades en Corvette
Pour l'instant en survet, il volait des mobylettes
Mais entre eux c'etait toujours complicite
Escale sur un piedestal un reve delimite
S'il devenait triangle, elle serait rectangle
La belle et le bad boy, le triangle rectangle
C'est comme passer de Joe Dassin a Jodeci
Un vrai truc de ouf style pur clip de R&B
Elle vit le grand amour, qui commence dans la cour
Se poursuit dans les tours et rime toujours avec toujours
Mais le contexte est plus fort que le concept
Son mec se jette dans les flammes et il se lave avec.

Rediscovering an old love of mine

Model United Nations, how I have loved thee.

Since the first time I set foot in the after school MUN meeting on a sweltering day in 2006, I fell love. Nothing gave an idealistic 15 year old more happiness and fulfillment than giving her the power and responsibility to solve the most pressing global issues, from disarmament to nuclear proliferation, from the Pedro-Blanca territory disputes to the trial of Slobodan Milosevic. Even if it was just a simulation.

In conferences from Singapore and Beijing, I met some of the most amazing people in life. People like myself, third culture kids and global nomads who roamed the international schools of the world but never belonged anywhere. People whose international lives led them to be passionate about international affairs. There was one Korean boy From International School of Beijing who dream of being a diplomat and bringing peace to the Korean Peninsula. There was the Vietnamese-Scottish girl from the Lycee Francais in Singapore who wanted to work in women's empowerment in South America. And then there was me, obsessed with economic development. At my last high school conference, I proudly told these friends that I was heading to the University of Chicago and studying economics, becoming one step closer to my dream. They were happy for me, having being accepted by prestigious institutions themselves. We were an optimistic bunch.

In College, I ceased being a delegate and had 4 days every year to get my conference adrenaline rush. Despite the relentless preparation work, the background guides, managing a staff of 4 or 5, when it was time for conference, I felt everything was worth it. Everything. This year is no different. After trekking through piles of snow, overcoming extreme fatigue, and narrowly dodging a potentially disastrous situation, I made it to chair the first session of World Bank Executive Board. Seeing the hope and aspirations on those still childish faces made me so happy, the happiest I have been in weeks. It is only now, five years after I fell in love with MUN, that I realise this love will never die.

THIMUN-Singapore 2007